Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
In any number of situations, being able to make good conversation can be a tremendous advantage. Dating life is among the more obvious of these spheres of life, a sphere that is not just about conversing with a date over dinner but the right kind of flirting at a dinner party. By "dating life" one also includes random moments when one meets someone in a supermarket, at work, or on the street.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Life offers no shortage of situations which might advertise themselves as good, bubbly fun, but which are in truth seething with ambition, ego, and intrigue. An academic party can seem like innocent fun, unless one is an associate professor looking toward tenure. Ironically, one of the hallmarks of proving that one belongs in such a room is knowing how to converse and how not to.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
In any number of situations, being able to make good conversation can be a tremendous advantage. Dating life is among the more obvious of these spheres of life, a sphere that is not just about conversing with a date over dinner but the right kind of flirting at a dinner party. By "dating life" one also includes random moments when one meets someone in a supermarket, at work, or on the street.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Life offers no shortage of situations which might advertise themselves as good, bubbly fun, but which are in truth seething with ambition, ego, and intrigue. An academic party can seem like innocent fun, unless one is an associate professor looking toward tenure. Ironically, one of the hallmarks of proving that one belongs in such a room is knowing how to converse and how not to.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
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